New Management!
by Romanadvoratrelunder AKA Fred
Summary: My best friends and I go to Starbucks that is under new management. This is based on a dream and contains robberies, pet rocks, song quotes, and old people. Makes you want to know who the new managers are...


**Herro. This is a fic I wrote based on a dream I had. I enjoyed this dream for some reason and I decided to share this with the world. Oh, yeah, this is crack, and really random. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

**Btw, Hi Hannanass :P **

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><p>My best friends Hannah, Stephanie and I met up at our usual Starbucks. We noticed a blow up Gorilla on the roof and a sign that said "Under <em><strong>NEW<strong>_ Management!" we really didn't care so we went inside.

"WHAT IS THE WORST THING I CAN SAY? THINGS ARE BETTER IF I STAY, SO LONG AND GOOD NIGHT!" screamed an angry customer, well, _angrily_ as he left the Starbucks. Mostly because angry people tend to do things angrily, all sorts of things...

I thought it was strange that a customer was quoting a MCR song, especially since it was a creepy old man who was wearing a hospital gown and a purple top hat and had a plate with bloody goop all over it. We struggled not to imagine what it was on his plate and just opened the door and went inside.

"HAVEN'T YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF, CLOSING A GODDAMN DOOR?" shrieked a guy that looked _just_ like Mello, as my friend Stephanie left the door open.

"It's better to face these kind of things with a sense of poise and rationality," Stephanie said, licking her lips in that strange way of hers. Luckily, the look-a-like Mello backed down.

We ordered our delicious warm beverages and we sat down at a table to wait for our delicious warm beverages to be served. Then a Mikami look-a-like sat next to us and started talking about his pet rocks, Kira Jr., Light-kun Jr., Me-sama Jr. and Stalker Guy Who Watches Me All The Time But I Fail To Realize This Fact Who Is Also Known As Gevanni Jr. (He calls him SGWWMATTBIFTRTFWIAKAG Jr. for short).

"Those must be some sexy rocks," said Hannah, who wasn't mocking him like I'm sure she normally would. "Yes, they are. I love watching them while they sleep," said Mikami seriously.

"I HAVE RETURNED WITH YOUR BEVERAGES!" announced a guy who looked like L. He threw our delicious warm beverages. They discussed the importance of delicious crab meat just moments before L slapped Stephanie, "Won't you marry me? Won't you bury me? Won't you carry me to the EEEEEEENDDDD?" he sang.

"Sorry, I don't love you like I did yesterDAAAAAYY HEEEYY I DON'T LOOOOVE YOU LIKE I LOOOOVED YOU YESTERDAAAAY!" she sang back.

"I am sorry for my co-worker's shenanigans," apologized Near. "Did someone say SHINIGAMI?" asked Ryuk, appearing out of no where. "No," said Near back. The Ryuk started sulking and vanished once more. Probably to watch Light change like he usually does when he is rejected. Don't ask how I know this.

I just sat there in silence as Hannah was looking at pictures of Mikami's pet rocks on his iPhone, Stephanie and L singing Bewitched, which strangely fit the situation.

I sighed as Rem and Misa jumped in yelling, "YO, WE GONNA ROB THIS MESS!" I sighed and watched as Mello came out and started screaming "DRUGS GIMME DRUGS GIMME DRUGS I DON'T NEED 'EM BUT I'LL SELL WHAT YOU GOT TAKE THE CASH I'LL KEEP IT EIGHT LEGS TO THE WALL, HIT THE GAS KILL 'EM ALL, AND WE CRAWL, AND WE CRAWL, AND WE CRAWL, I'LL BE YOUR DETONATOR!"

Light had a flame thrower and threw it at Mello, causing him to go into a coma. I stayed seated as the chaos ensued around me. It wasn't until Near's hair was dyed purple by Rem, when I got up and left. I pulled out my detonator and the Starbucks blew up behind me.

Even though I wanted to see the explosion, I have never felt so bad ass in my entire life. I sighed, "They never should've gone into New Management."

Matsuda came up to me and said. "YOU IS UNDAH ARREST FOH BLOWIN UP A STARBUCKS BIZZFFNITCHEZZZ." I sighed, "Catch me if you can ASSHOLE!"

"Nah, I'm not in the mood. Wanna get a coffee?" asked Matsuda. "Sure. I myself wouldn't mind some... DELICIOUS SHARK FIN SOUP," I said rather dramatically.

So Matsuda and I got coffee, like a boss. Then we played Just Dance 3 before Aizawa shot me in the face and I woke up.

**Okay the first song quote is from Helena, by My Chemical Romance, "What is the worst thing I can say, Things are better if I stay, So long and good night," **

**The second and third are from the same song, I Write Sins Not Tragedies, by Panic! At The Disco. "Haven't you people ever heard of, closing a goddamn door?" "It's better to face these things with a sense of poise and rationality," **

**The Fourth is from To The End, by My Chemical Romance "Won't you marry me? Won't you bury me? Won't you carry me, to the end?"**

**The Fifth is from I Don't Love You, by My Chemical Romance (notice a pattern?) "I don't love you, Like I loved you yesterday, hey, I don't love you, like I loved you yesterday,"**

**The final one is from Na Na Na, also by My Chemical Romance "Drugs, Gimme drugs, Gimme drugs, I don't need it, But I'll sell what you got, Take the cash and I'll keep it, Eight legs to the wall, Hit the gas, Kill 'em all, And we crawl, And we crawl, And we crawl, I'll be your detonator," **

**I love all of these songs. Look them up and love them as well. This is a command**


End file.
